A Shepherd, His Dog, A Goat, And Those Stupid Coyotes
Coyotes are usually pretty much loaners most of the year. However, they pack up in the fall / winter when it is time to mate. This also tends to be the time of year that fall lambs are expected. They are a Shepherd’s biggest threat to his or her flock.
I could hear the coyote yelps and calls to each other on some nights. I was worried as the pack kept sounding closer to our farm. But, we had Duncan Do-nut, the roughest toughest yellow Labrador this side of the Maumee River. He was a big yellow lab weighing in at 120 lbs., with big feet to match. I got him from a breeder when he was a pup for $50 to cover his shots because he fell outside the breed standards in so many ways.
He was the best farm guard dog we ever had. Nothing left the livestock part of our farm alive if it did not belong there. Unfortunately, I would find all his kills on my back steps in the morning laid out like the trophy’s they were to him. I more them once, heading out for work, I would step on one of his trophy’s because I had stuff in my hands and did not see them. I so hated he did that, but I always praised him, then tossed them in the farm dumpster. I learned long ago, that if I buried them, he would dig them up and bring them back to the back steps for another round of praising. Do the job once, get paid twice, I think not! I figured no coyotes would dare mess with my lambs with him around.
Well, I figured wrong. One night, I sat up in bed as I could hear them yelping right in my back pasture, the day our first lambs were born too. I put on my robe and slippers as fast as I could and ran out the door with my shot gun in hand. I ran across the back yard, through the pine trees, and came to the pasture fence. This pasture is only 25 feet wide and 200 feet long. It was built so there was a space between our workable fields and the pine trees to protect them. It was connected into the sheep barn and the sheep kept it nice and trimmed.
I quickly turned on my head lamp. To my surprise, there were seven coyotes that were just as surprised to see me on the other side of that pasture, only 30 feet away. Shepherd, meet enemy number one! It took me a few seconds to get over my stunned mind before I thought, “Shoot them!” I quickly cocked a bullet into the chamber, raised the gun, then, as I pulled the trigger…BAMB….BOOM! I was struck so hard from the right side that I fell down towards my left side causing the gun to fly in the air, which came down on me, hitting me in the chest as I crashed to the ground. That blasted goat the kids called “She who shall not be named” (clearly a Harry Potter reference to her evilness) had full force head butted me in a sneak attack!
As I sat up looking at the coyotes that are now running away, I had somehow, in that collision of man and goat, winged one. I quickly put another bullet in the chamber and raised my gun when out of nowhere came Duncan Do-nut. He hit that coyote so fast from the side, grabbing it by the throat, and swinging it back and forth violently, it totally shocked me! By day, this mild manner dog would greet everyone with such love. He was such a good family dog! He would show a thief where the good silver was hidden if he could. By night, he was scarily different, which is putting it mildly!
As I sat there with my mouth open watching this, that damn goat yelled at me! It was quite startling as she was only about 5 feet away. That is when I realized that I had a loaded gun on my lap. This evil goat has taken me out far too many times. I could care less she was on the farm for the sake of an upcoming fair. At that moment, it was now Goat Season! I would explain the accident somehow to the kids, not that I thought anyone would be too heartbroken over this.
I raised the gun and pointed it at “She who shall not be named”. I was getting ready to pull the trigger, when a set of large eyes came around the bend of the pasture behind the goat. My head lamp had illuminated them. They were low and starting to pick up speed towards us. OH MY GOD! It was Duncan! As sure as I was sitting there, he is bringing me that blood soaked, mud covered dead coyote to drop in my lap like a chew toy!!! I needed to get off the ground NOW!
I had fallen off the roof of the house a few years back and broke my back and my right hip along with thirteen other bones. Somehow, I survived that fall, but it left me, I would say, a bit stiff. I lunged for the pasture fence and grabbed a hold of the wire to pull myself up. Half way up, ZAP!!! Apparently, my son turned back on the electric fence despite no livestock being out there as this time. I shot backwards off the fence with a high pitch scream. I swear they could have heard me all the way in town. As I fell backward, again, the gun flew out of my hands, all I could think was “Dear God, IT’S LOADED” as it fell back on top of me. Thankfully it did not go off. But Duncan was just about on me!
I rolled over, grabbed the post this time as not to touch the wires, and managed to get myself up just as Duncan dropped that disgusting dead coyote on my slippers. He then sat down with his tail thumping the ground looking for praise for his latest trophy! It was so gross; I could feel it through my slippers. I praised him heavily as I kicked it sideways off my feet. At that time, I realized the evil goat was gone! There is a whole lot of dark yard to cross with that wicked thing out there. She had once again escaped a destiny to swim with the rosemary in a crock pot.
